Week 5

The season is a third over, and the regular season is almost at the halfway point. I'm pretty good at counting, it's true. On with the show.

Dirty Birds (111.38) vs fobsters (86.20)
The Birds have been rolling every opponent since their five point loss to the Babel Sharks in WK1. They've won by 22, 45, 50, and 25 points in their four victories. They hadn't quite ascended the mountain top yet but after a convincing victory over another top ranked team this week in the Fobsters, they've really established themselves as an early season favorite.

Jimmy had a long shot chance to take the Birds down heading into MNF as they were behind by just twenty or so points with QB Drew Brees facing off against RB Reggie Bush. However, Brees totaled 15.30 points while Bush took two punt returns to the house and racked up 19.30 points. With LaDainian Tomlinson and the run game still sputtering big time, the fobsters were forced to pass and had great performances from WRs TJ Houshmandzadeh and Roddy White (combined for 40.70 pts) but a crappy defense (Buffalo for -4.0) and poor surrounding performances doomed them to a loss.

The Bird's waiver wire work -- a league leading 28 so far -- was responsible for this week's win as recent pickups RB Steve Slaton (21.60) and TE Chris Cooley (17.90) put up great performances in WK5. Combined with the early success of Jay Cutler, Larry Fitzgerald, and Reggie Bush, the Birds have been torching defenses. If first round pick Steven Jackson can pick his game up, and Dwayne Bowe and the injured Marques Colston come on strong, this team might be even scarier in the upcoming weeks.

los cacahuetes (93.46) vs Fishtorious (75.64)
We didn't want to mention this but a few weeks ago Hong's team had Brett Favre and his six TDs and still lost. I mean, seriously? After opening the season with two weak losses, the cacahuetes have had some trouble putting major points on the board. They haven't topped the century mark at all this season. Would they have enough firepower to take on Fishtorious, a league leader in scoring?

With Favre on bye, Plaxico Burress on suspension, and Marvin Harrison and Jeremy Shockey on the bench, Hong's team didn't boast a lot of big names in the lineup. However, they showed some genius by inserting QB Kyle Orton, who tallied 27.86 points, many of those going directly to oldie but goodie WR Isaac Bruce (16.90). With a barely there push by the running back tandem of Marion Barber and Maurice Jones-Drew (18 pts combined), Hong's team got 93.46 points. Would that be enough?

We've covered Fishtorious extensively this season in this space because they keep on playing in close (or important) games. This week was no different. Between Tony Romo (21.24), Joseph Addai (13.40), and Jason Witten (13.90), the Fishies had a solid three man performance. However, the rest of the team really stunk up the joint. WR Brandon Marshall has really slowed down the past few weeks and while Chris Chambers continues to catch touchdowns, he's not exactly piling up the yards.

Brian's team looks great on paper, with big names and depth across the board, but they do sit at a disappointing 2-3, just the same as a los cacahuetes team that's been underperforming but suddenly picking up steam.

Notes:
In a small item, we had the first trade of the year last week. The Babel Sharks, full of QBs sitting on the sidelines, traded the venerable Kurt Warner to All Out of Gum for RB Julius Jones. Warner scored 23.00 big ones for his new team while Jones poured out 7.40 points. Both trade participants won. There might be a moral of the story here.

In response to Olivia's comment on last week's post, someone please trade her MJD so her team can get their captain and really take off. Perhaps a Maurice Jones-Drew for Fred Taylor and Bo Scaife move? Or maybe just MJD for Laveranues Coles or Steve Smith? Let's make another trade happen!

Week 1

The 2008 season opened with a few huge injuries and some promising breakout players. Since this league is so new, trash talking has been kept to an absolute minimum. Why antagonize someone you don't know? Wait, why the hell not?

In an effort to promote some solidarity and thus trash talking, here's a short recap of the games from Week One, highlighted by two very close contests.

Feel free to contribute articles, recaps, analysis, or anything that floats your boat. I'll whip out an email with the login info. Good luck ladies.

Babel Sharks vs Dirty Birds (94.28 - 87.76)
This was it, a WK1 faceoff of epic proportions. Commissioner Mike vs Commissioner Jon (albeit not a commissioner of this particular league). Childhood battles waged over board games, over ahem, Magic, over chess, over video games, and over so many other things had now distilled down to this arena: fantasy football.

Soon after the draft, Mike had mocked Jon's selection of QB Jay Cutler. Monday night, he was sweating bullets as Cutler almost led the Birds to a great comeback against the Babel Sharks. Alas, they fell a bit short as their passing game fizzled (L. Fitzgerald, M.Colston, D. Bowe, H.Miller combined for just over 30 pts). RB Reggie Bush stepped up to the plate with 23.30 pts but that wasn't enough to offset the Sharks' balanced attack.

Sharks' QB Kurt Warner aired it out to Randy Moss (16.60) and Antonio Gates (10.10) while the running game churned up the yards behind possible gem Thomas Jones (17.30) and rookie Kevin Smith (14.00). Mike pulled out the close victory and still had WR Hines Ward on the bench (19.60), perhaps believing that Mr Half-Korean could no longer hack it. One thing the Sharks can't be excited about is the poor play of RB Laurence Maroney, who shared carries with Sammy Morris for the Patriots. Then again, with Tom Brady out, perhaps Maroney's role will increase. Either way, the Sharks started off the season on a high note and dispatched their longtime nemesis with a thrilling performance.

What a birthday present for Jon, thanks a lot Mike!

NAACHOOO! vs los cacahuetes (85.68 - 83.06)
I have no idea who the manager of NAACHOOO! is but when I saw him take TE Dallas Clark at the top of the third round during the draft, I was convinced it was Hong since he loves his tight ends. And I mean that in the most ungay gay way possible. How appropriate it was then that these two lovers of the tight ends faced off to open the season.

For Nacho, their first two picks provided fuel early, with QB Ben Roethlisberger (16.18) and RB Brian Westbrook (21.20) leading the way. Edgerrin James and the Patriots defense added double digit scores each but that didn't seem enough as los cacahuetes came on strong behind the immortal Brett Favre (16.46), Super Bowl hero Plaxico Burress (14.30), and the strong running of Marion Barber (22.10).

As the two teams chased each other up and down the scoreboard -- and perhaps other places -- over the weekend, fans started getting antsy on both sides. los cacahuetes K Robbie Gould dropped in a cool ten points for the lead. Nacho's fourth round pick, WR Greg Jennings, caught a deep pass late and pushed Nacho to a last second victory by the slimmest of margins, just a 2.62 point win.

The good news is that "The Peanuts" won the battle of the TEs, with Jeremy Shockey posting 5.40 points against Dallas Clark's 0.80 points (Clark was hurt in the second quarter).

Other Games of Note:
Oopeikralc earned first place by setting the standard for winning by scoring 113.54 points behind a strong passing attack led by QB Donovan McNabb's 34.74 points. WRs Terrell Owens, Andre Johnson, and Roy Williams combined for 37.60 points and made their case as the best receiver corps in the league.

Those three alone almost could have beat MJD Fanclub, who totaled a paltry 37.64 points for WK1. Adding injury to insult, QB Tom Brady was lost for the season and now it's up to either JaMarcus Russell and/or Damon Huard to lead the charge. Uh-oh... Oh yeah, MJD Fanclub lost WK1, obviously.