Week 3

Another week, another new high. The Dirty Birds raised by bar for the highest score so far by hitting on all cylinders behind Reggie Bush (24.80), Jay Cutler (21.26), and a starting lineup that all scored in double digits minus TE Todd Heap. The new high is 137.56 for the young season but that's not likely to stand the test of time. Three weeks, three new high scores!

MJD Fanclub can breath a sigh of relief after scoring sub-40 points two weeks in a row. They almost matched that entire output this week (73.84) even though they still lost at the end of the day to los cacahuetes. Plus, there's a new record for futility. Check out below...

Oopeikralc (53.74) vs NAACHOOO! (22.04)
For how NAACHOOO! did this week, look below. What we'll be focusing on from this matchup is the lone undefeated team in the league, Oopeikralc. Sure, we know it's a bit unfair to highlight Clark's team when it's coming off of a terrible week but who cares about the highlight reel right? It's all about wins and losses baby.

During their undefeated run so far, Oop has been led by the indomitable Donovan McNabb. He's currently thrown five touchdowns, mostly to old teammate Terrell Owens (three TDs), and the ground game of Clinton Portis (15 pts avg) has been steady. So far, the battle of rookie RBs between Darren McFadden and Felix Jones has paid off for Clark, as both have shown promise and signs of fantasy relevance.

The big issue at hand for this team is the receivers. Roy Williams and Andre Johnson have been disturbingly quiet, tallying less than five points a game. TE Vernon Davis has been basically non-existent, with only sixty eight yards on the season. For Oops to keep up their winning streak, they might need some of these guys to step up. Or they could try to play NAACHOOO! again.

NAACHOOO!, who started off the year with a nice win, smashed the old "record" of 37.30 points by putting up a pathetic 22.04 points for the entire week. Twelve players scored more than 22 points this week just by themselves. Two 49ers, JT O'Sullivan and Frank Gore both could have done it. Geezes people, how much lower can the low score go?

Here's how such record setting futility was achieved. Big Ben Roethlisberger and Patriots defense both tallied negative points. Joey Galloway and Justin Fargas got big fat zeroes, mainly because they were injured. If not for Greg Jennings' 12.50 outburst, this team would have scored less than ten points -- with a nine man roster!

Fishtorious (92.50) vs fobsters (91.64)
And it hurts so bad. Losing by a little over twenty points heading into MNF, the 2-0 fobsters had to feel good about their chances. Already buoyed by the great performance from QB Drew Brees (24.34) and the reemergence of TJ Houshmandzadeh (21.60), they had to feel semi-confident for a comeback victory. After all, it was first overall pick LaDainian Tomlinson facing off against WR Chris Chambers for Fishtorious.

The Fish had gotten stellar performances from RB Joseph Addai (20.80) and WR Brandon Marshall (22.50) but had to feel a bit queasy knowing that LDT was coming Monday night. Well, attack he did, even with an injured toe limiting him. He put up almost a hundred combined yards and scored two touchdowns to try to push his team over the top. Sadly, the Chargers also had some success through the air and lo and behold, Chris Chambers got a second quarter touchdown that enabled Fishtorious to escape with a narrow victory.

Both teams had high scorers left on the bench. WR Roddy White finally broke out for the fobsters and it looks like RB Rudi Johnson might have life after the Bengals, scoring 19.10 points in WK3. Coming off last week's brilliant come from behind win over All Out of Gum, the Fish have to applaud QB Tony Romo's steady hand and his cool head in leading them to third place overall.

Wham!

"Madden made for an inadvertently comic professor. He was about 270 pounds and highly excitable, given to windmilling arms and spontaneous eruptions of onomatopoeia (wham!).

Teaching football, he discovered, was as delicate an art as teaching calculus or advanced aeronautics. Football had so many moving parts, so much more complexity than baseball. Madden told me recently that as he introduced his students to arcane concepts like the nickel defense or presnap shifts, he watched to see whether they would wilt under the strain.

'I wanted to see at what point I lost'em,' he says. But as Madden drew concepts on the chalkboard and repeated phrases like a patient head coach ('This is man coverage'), the students caught on, allowing Madden to add layer upon layer of detail. By semester's end, Madden had created an army of mini-Don Coryells, and learned the lesson that has informed just about everything he has done since: that fans have a capacity for footballic knowledge, for the wonders of x's and o's, that goes far beyond what they see on television."
-Summa Cum Madden-

Week 2

After two short weeks, we have three undefeated teams and three teams still looking for their first win. As all fantasy football veterans know, the first two weeks are a major toss up. Major injuries aside, how you come out of the gate rarely reflects how your team will do the rest of the (long) season. I mean, look at the leaderboard so far. QB Jay Cutler is the best player in league. Philip Rivers and Aaron Rodgers are the #2 and 3 QBs. Brian Westbrook and Marion Barber are the top scoring RBs while Anquan Boldin and Calvin Johnson rule the receiving charts -- both are hypothetically number two receivers on their teams.

But that's why we love this game, because every week and every season holds surprises and disappointments. After all, fifty percent of last year's top twenty fantasy football players will disappear into semi-obscurity once this season's stats are tabulated. Yes, that's true!

Fishtorious (128.88) vs All Out of Gum (111.50)
Leading by over thirty points heading into Monday night, Kevin's All Out of Gum team was looking good enough for him to start a bit of trash talking. Having broken the century mark after last week's poor 69.96 point showing, he was feeling confident that he had the victory in the bag. Former Dallas RB Julius Jones punched in 21.10 pts to lead the troops, the Giants defense stepped up huge with 18 pts, and Reggie Wayne (15.30) and Marshawn Lynch (12.70) had good games. Ah, but many a victory has been lost on Monday nights, especially with a QB-TE combination of Tony Romo and Jason Witten still left to play.

Well, what happened during MNF's first half must have made Kevin's stomach lurch. Tony Romo and the Cowboys got into a crazy shoot out right out of the gate and Brian's boys were on their way to a combined forty point night. Romo exploded for over three hundred yards and threw three touchdowns (27.98 pts) while Witten wasn't half bad himself with seven catches and over a hundred yards. Combine that with over twenty points from both Brandon Marshall and Chris Chambers and that's all she wrote. The Fish came roaring back for a late win and set the high water mark for the young season to boot. In fact, with their WK2 outburst, Fishtorious just became the highest scoring team in the league. Congrats!

All Out of Gun will have to find an answer to their quarterback struggles as they're poised to use their third different starter in three weeks (Carson Palmer, Brian Griese, JT O'Sullivan) in search of their first win.

fobsters (90.14) vs Canadian Bacon (82.44)
In a battle for future world domination, it was Taiwan versus Canada this weekend. Soy sauce versus maple syrup. Republic of China versus Republic of America. One thing the Bacon have going for them is their team logo. Very descriptive and makes a lot of sense. Plus, Canadian Bacon is kind of a hilarious movie. Who's with me here?

Let's not have any suspense here, we know who would win in a matchup of these two economic powerhouses. Taiwan! And Jimmy proved it behind a three headed attack of Earnest Graham (19.80), Tony Scheffler (18.40), Eddie Royal (11.70), and Mason Crosby (12.00). Who?! Exactly. The fobsters should be led by Drew Brees, LaDainian Tomlinson, and TJ Houshmandzadeh but so far these three stars have been, for lack of a better term, sucking it up. Still, 2-0 and sitting in third place isn't bad considering the fobsters have yet to get any good performances from their stars (although Brees did have a nice WK1). This team might be a serious contender once the Big Three get it together.

As for Adam's team, there a lot of good things going on. They have a premier quarterback (Peyton Manning) paired with a strong running game (Frank Gore, Jamal Lewis, Matt Forte). Then again, why is their kicker and defense putting up 14 and 12 points respectively and almost leading them in scoring? Only Peyton outscored K Jason Hanson and Buccaneers defense for them this week. Their receiving corps of Wes Welker, Jerricho Cotchery and Kevin Boss was a big disappointment to say the least, combining for under ten points. However, Santana Moss (26.10) and promising rookie DeSean Jackson (12.00) lurk on the bench. Canadian Bacon needs to resolve their TE issues right away as the position has given them -1.5 points this season courtesy of Todd Heap (already cut) and Kevin Boss. That's a minus sign as in negative.

Week 1

The 2008 season opened with a few huge injuries and some promising breakout players. Since this league is so new, trash talking has been kept to an absolute minimum. Why antagonize someone you don't know? Wait, why the hell not?

In an effort to promote some solidarity and thus trash talking, here's a short recap of the games from Week One, highlighted by two very close contests.

Feel free to contribute articles, recaps, analysis, or anything that floats your boat. I'll whip out an email with the login info. Good luck ladies.

Babel Sharks vs Dirty Birds (94.28 - 87.76)
This was it, a WK1 faceoff of epic proportions. Commissioner Mike vs Commissioner Jon (albeit not a commissioner of this particular league). Childhood battles waged over board games, over ahem, Magic, over chess, over video games, and over so many other things had now distilled down to this arena: fantasy football.

Soon after the draft, Mike had mocked Jon's selection of QB Jay Cutler. Monday night, he was sweating bullets as Cutler almost led the Birds to a great comeback against the Babel Sharks. Alas, they fell a bit short as their passing game fizzled (L. Fitzgerald, M.Colston, D. Bowe, H.Miller combined for just over 30 pts). RB Reggie Bush stepped up to the plate with 23.30 pts but that wasn't enough to offset the Sharks' balanced attack.

Sharks' QB Kurt Warner aired it out to Randy Moss (16.60) and Antonio Gates (10.10) while the running game churned up the yards behind possible gem Thomas Jones (17.30) and rookie Kevin Smith (14.00). Mike pulled out the close victory and still had WR Hines Ward on the bench (19.60), perhaps believing that Mr Half-Korean could no longer hack it. One thing the Sharks can't be excited about is the poor play of RB Laurence Maroney, who shared carries with Sammy Morris for the Patriots. Then again, with Tom Brady out, perhaps Maroney's role will increase. Either way, the Sharks started off the season on a high note and dispatched their longtime nemesis with a thrilling performance.

What a birthday present for Jon, thanks a lot Mike!

NAACHOOO! vs los cacahuetes (85.68 - 83.06)
I have no idea who the manager of NAACHOOO! is but when I saw him take TE Dallas Clark at the top of the third round during the draft, I was convinced it was Hong since he loves his tight ends. And I mean that in the most ungay gay way possible. How appropriate it was then that these two lovers of the tight ends faced off to open the season.

For Nacho, their first two picks provided fuel early, with QB Ben Roethlisberger (16.18) and RB Brian Westbrook (21.20) leading the way. Edgerrin James and the Patriots defense added double digit scores each but that didn't seem enough as los cacahuetes came on strong behind the immortal Brett Favre (16.46), Super Bowl hero Plaxico Burress (14.30), and the strong running of Marion Barber (22.10).

As the two teams chased each other up and down the scoreboard -- and perhaps other places -- over the weekend, fans started getting antsy on both sides. los cacahuetes K Robbie Gould dropped in a cool ten points for the lead. Nacho's fourth round pick, WR Greg Jennings, caught a deep pass late and pushed Nacho to a last second victory by the slimmest of margins, just a 2.62 point win.

The good news is that "The Peanuts" won the battle of the TEs, with Jeremy Shockey posting 5.40 points against Dallas Clark's 0.80 points (Clark was hurt in the second quarter).

Other Games of Note:
Oopeikralc earned first place by setting the standard for winning by scoring 113.54 points behind a strong passing attack led by QB Donovan McNabb's 34.74 points. WRs Terrell Owens, Andre Johnson, and Roy Williams combined for 37.60 points and made their case as the best receiver corps in the league.

Those three alone almost could have beat MJD Fanclub, who totaled a paltry 37.64 points for WK1. Adding injury to insult, QB Tom Brady was lost for the season and now it's up to either JaMarcus Russell and/or Damon Huard to lead the charge. Uh-oh... Oh yeah, MJD Fanclub lost WK1, obviously.